![]() ![]() She was like, I know that you carried to term before. And Rebecca realized that some women who had abortions- some, but not all- were part of the very small group who could viscerally understand one of the hardest parts of what she went through- laboring to deliver a body that will never cry out. Like after losing Cora, Rebecca learned that the drug doctors use to inducer labor is also used in some abortion procedures. Her questions came from little observations, things she felt in her body. They bought a minivan.īut little by little, in the background of all of that life unfolding, Rebecca was thinking about her pro-life stance and questioning it. The Shraders wanted a big family, something like four kids. The Shraders' son, Aben, came to North Carolina from Ethiopia. They told her and Josh how much they deserved it. People at her church were extra excited for her. She was their rainbow baby, which is what the pregnancy loss world calls a birth after a miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death- this glimpse of brightness. One Monday in her third trimester, Rebecca went into work and started her week like she always did- alone in her ultrasound room, running the probe over her belly. At Summit, she was like this pro-life darling. They'd sometimes stop Rebecca in the halls and say they'd read her blog, and they were praying for her. People knew the Shraders when they walked into church. When Rebecca shared the latest on her pregnancy, they'd tell her how strong she was. These were her closest friends in Durham, the people who invited her and her husband to baseball games and had them over to their houses for cookouts. That's the term in evangelical-speak for the people she prayed with every week. But she volunteered in the baby room during services, and got to know people, and found this group of women who she could really talk to- her small group. When Rebecca first started going to Summit, it felt really large. And this idea was reflected back to her at church. Rebecca came to see her pregnancy as a personal cross that would provide some inevitable redemption. Usually alone in my car, apartment, or ultrasound room, but always silent and always in control." At 18 weeks, Rebecca and Josh announced on their blog that they were having a girl. In one of her entries, she wrote, quote, "You may not notice, but I cry a lot. She'd head straight to her ultrasound room, stand up in front of her screen, squirt jelly on her abdomen, and grab the probe, which looks a little bit like a Nintendo Wii controller. So anyways, those free ultrasounds Rebecca gave herself- once she was pregnant going through this new experience, she developed this Monday morning ritual at work. And they do things like provide free diapers, and parenting classes, and ultrasounds. They're designed to discourage women from getting abortions. These centers are the pro-life movement's answer to Planned Parenthood. She even spent her Thursday nights volunteering at a crisis pregnancy center. Every tiny heartbeat she saw on the ultrasound screen was a living human being. And she believes life begins at conception. She was a member of Summit, one of the most prominent Southern Baptist megachurches in the country. But her love for her work also came from her faith. She's from a family of scientists and doctors. Working in an OB clinic made sense for Rebecca.
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